Saturday, May 26, 2012

Brief aus Luzern

Eh bien, mes braves. Ce serait aux barricades à bientôt. Francois goes to Berlin and beams at Merkel while having his cake and eating Marie Antoinette’s too. Plus ça change. Laissez les tombereaux à rouler.


The Greeks have voted but, as always with EU matters, they got it badly wrong the first time. So they must suffer the mandatory do-over. Likely they’ll get it wrong again. Christine’s sky is going to fall on all the Euro-Chicken Littles.

M. et Mme. Carla Bruni duly vacated l’Élysée never to be heard of in polite society again. Tant triste.

There are now countless (count’em) Euro Chickens in full cry ohne Kopf. No one knows what’s coming; especially Mr. Tsipras. Friends tell me that the Iron Chancellorin will have a Damascene experience at one second to midnight on the way to the BuBank and stand Weidmann down; while she tells Mario at the ECB to accept all and any collateral, however dodgy, print like he’s never printed and bail, bail, bail. Ship unlimited Deutsche-Euro’s (the non-dodgy kind) to Athens and tell them not to mention it. All in a solid day’s work in Euro-Solidarity, all in Germany’s best interest anyway, have a nice day. Problem solved. Except my best guess is that Die Frau ain’t gunna do it. Dieses Mädchen für umdrehenden ist nicht. German constitution says verboten. Die Frau follow constitution – stay out of Spandau.


Going out on a limb, I’m with Jeremy Warner. The Athens sky will fall before the do-over comes to pass. The canter on the Greek banks will become a gallop. They will close sine die. A very hard landing indeed. Italian and French banks will join Spanish banks in purgatory. It will make the collapse of Weimar look like a walk in the Bois de Boulogne. Greek economy returns to barter. The neo-Ottomans cannot believe their luck. Looks very dodgy for Cyprus too.


The Greek goose is arguably at the very well-done stage. Can the other Club Med banks whistle past the graveyard without running out of paper-Euro’s? Can the Clearing House take the strain without the BuBank closing its window (and the BuBankers jumping through it)? Will it be sauve qui peût for Italians, Spanish, French, Maltese (don’t forget the poor Maltesers close to the Libyan coast) and capital flight across the northern borders à l’outrance? Here in Luzern in der Schweiz the doors of UBS and Credit Suisse look forbidding but are doubtless open to anyone with a pocketful of hard currency (the Euro?). Down in Lugano it could become a mêlée. For the moment happily the Swiss seem to be accepting Euros; at least for a cup of coffee. Die Dämpfer jetzt gleiten dem See darüber. Cowbells chime as ever. Very serene scene here in Switzerland.

Hats off to the Irish who seem to be dodging the eye of the storm. Must be the bracing quality of the north Atlantic, North Sea and Baltic.

We are now most likely very close to the beginning of the end for the Euro. It will take supreme statesmanship from Merkel, Draghi, Lagarde, little tax-cheater Geithner (AWOL), Hollande, Monti, Rajoy and others to avert a train wreck (the SBB will run on time to take us to Wengen tomorrow). Forget the Greeks – they should be focusing on the post-mortem. Not to mention Juncker von Juncker and Herr Schäuble – who seem less than well disposed towards Club Med. It’s hard to imagine this cast of characters getting any kind of act together this side of hell freezing over Europe.

Le ciel se tombe.

Simon

No comments:

Post a Comment